I’ve been a professional boudoir photographer for a long time. And in that time, I have had so many women (some men, too) ask me to edit them to look thinner, smoother, more tan, more muscular, less muscular, more feminine, more curvy… you name it, I’ve heard it. In the beginning of my career, I appeased these requests because I wanted to do anything to make my clients happy, but also, so I could eat. At that time in my life, I was living in denial of my own issues. I was unhappy with who I was, I had gotten into relationships for the wrong reasons, I gained a lot of weight, I was depressed. I knew photography was my passion but I didn’t know why I was doing it. For a long time, I didn’t have the “why”. And then one day, out of nowhere, I completely broke down when I found out my 5 year relationship wasn’t what I thought it was. I was devastated, betrayed, traumatized. I needed help. And finally one day, I asked for it.
I sought out a therapist who helped me heal from that relationship, but also my relationship with myself. I finally understood self love and self care. This changed everything. I finally found the “why”. My perspective shifted so drastically that I saw the world in a whole new light. I used to think I was an introvert, but I realized that I was using that label as an excuse to avoid people who would check on me and hold me accountable. Throughout this process I began to forgive myself, to be more patient and kind to myself. To be more aware of the words I was using towards myself and others. Especially other women. I learned that acceptance is the key to being happy with myself, happy with others, happy with my work, with my home, my body, my life. Body positivity and self love is so important to me now. This is where boudoir comes in.
